So nice to meet you!

Well hello kindly reader! Let me introduce myself - I'm an incompetent mother of a three-month old baby living in central London.

The aim of this blog is to share some of my hideously incompetent attempts to get out and about in central London. My ventures probably won't interest all those competent size-zero mothers (and fathers) scooting round Notting Hill, adoring babies strapped to their gravity-defying bosoms. But it may be of use to those parents who knock over a dozen tables attempting to get their buggy into Pain Quotidien only to turn straight round when their baby starts bawling. If your definition of "discreet breastfeeding" is only having one knocker hanging out in Islam-centric Edgware Road, this blog may well be for you.

Motherhood hasn't endowed me with special incompetent qualities - I've always been this way. However, motherhood has certainly offered more opportunities for me to feel inadequate.

It started with the birth. I did all the classes. Yup. ALL the classes. A British Red Cross Baby First Aid course in Euston (very good, go along...), several yoga classes (still hate it, but the best by far was Tara Lee at the Life Centre), birth preparation (meh), Hypnobirthing (cough, cough, splutter, splutter...), NCT and '2 becomes 3' course (highly recommended). Every day for nine loooong months, I did my special yoga exercises, gazed soulfully at hypnobirthing images of blooming roses, listened to relaxation tapes, sat in ridiculously uncomfortable positions and bounced on my birth ball. All in all, no one could be more prepared. Except of course I wasn't. It all went pear-shaped. My incompetency came into it's own and it was only 2 months afterwards that I stopped walking like someone out of Monty Python's Ministry of Silly Walks. We won't 'dwell' but suffice to say my incompetency in motherhood began then and has continued apace.

So, after three months, I've decided I need to get out of the house. But where to go when you panic every time your baby cries, you don't know how to fold your buggy and you're still not 100% sure that your baby's nappy isn't on back to front? With this little exercise I hope to share any tips at lessening (albeit minutely) the hideous incompetency I feel when out in public. Hopefully I'll find some little spots that are welcoming and accessible for incompetent mums like me and some quite spot to breastfeed. If you have any tips of your own, please share along the way... we're in it together!